Visit to St Francis Boy’s Home – Minuwangoda

I had the opportunity of visiting the St Francis Boys Home, Mel Kopiwatte, Minuwangoda,  on Wednesday, 17^th October 2018, on account of the fact that two Australian Friends were visiting there with a donation raised by well-wishers in Australia for them to purchase a Two-wheeled tractor trailer and implements for agricultural use.

I was greeted by the Warden. Present today were members of the committee who help run this place along with the Treasurer of the Home. It is administered by the Church of Ceylon, the Sri Lankan arm of the Anglican Church of England, and the Bishop of Colombo under whose ambit this fall into.

The land, 10 acres or 4 hectares on which the Home lies, was left to the Church by a deceased priest Fr. De Mel, and bearing in mind the value of building land around the property, where new houses are being constructed, it is worth US$1M on a break up basis. It is Coconut Land, in the Coconut Triangle that is fast disappearing for housing for the expanding population in the Western Province. There is a base income from the sale of Coconuts, and excess Milk from the cows on the property, about 12 head of cattle.

This place at one time had over 40 boys and now there are 12 at present. Apart from the Warden and his wife who assists him in the daily activities, there is a Gardener and a Cook on site who are the people who are paid. It was clear from talking with the Warden, that under the prevailing market conditions, the two staff referred to above are paid below market rates, and are constantly requesting further increases, which will have to be met.

The Home is funded from well-wishers donations and assistance from the Anglican Church. There is a newly built open Chapel on the premises, along with a new Two Bedroomed unit where visitors may stay, and I am told even the Bishop can come and stay. One of the rooms was built to house the Boarding Master, but due to the reduced numbers at present it does not warrant one.

I was shown the different units that housed the boys broken down into age groups, along with their outside study areas in verandas. There is a separate toilet block and another for bathing. There is a ‘well’ within the estate that provides both drinking water and water for agriculture, and water is pumped up to a Tank close by from which it is supplied to the various buildings. There is an additional tube well for emergencies, if the well runs dry.

There is a computer room, with some relatively old PCs provided by Commercial Bank, but there is no Internet Service Provided, due to difficulties in managing how internet is used by youth, and the need for extra supervision! I forgot to ask if boys are allowed to use smart phones, and if not what kind of punishment is meted if they are caught using them.

The Warden and wife live in their independent quarters. There is a dining room with an attached kitchen that can seat 30 at a time, and I was told that sometimes, children from outside celebrate their birthdays by bringing a meal or have it cooked on the premises, to eat with the boys.

Being in the wet zone, in lush tropical surroundings, it’s a beautiful place for kids to grow up if they appreciate what they have, instead of wondering about what they don’t have. There is space to run around, to have their own space if they wanted, have their own kitchen garden or flower garden if they show such inclination. Human nature is such that grass is always greener elsewhere.

The kids walk to school, about 2km each day and on rainy days the Warden drops and picks them up in the Van that is on the premises, which has seen better days. This is also a topic of concern as transport is a requirement.

Most children have a living parent, some may be in Sri Lanka, others maybe working overseas, and some of them go to their parents or close relative at weekends, upon invitation.

I was told of an example where one of the fathers of the boys when he went on his weekend home visit, was told he can put him in as an apprentice at his place of work in some repair shop, so the boy is more keen to give up school and join him, thinking this is a worthy start to his life!

What this means is that values taught in the Home, can easily be compromised and even reneged by different influences peripherally, making the task of the warden more difficult in encouraging students to study, pass their exams and aspire to careers. Further, boys are now aware of their “RIGHTS” and less keen on their “RESPONSIBILITIES” in ensuring the smooth running of the establishment. Everyone should carry their weight for a smooth operation.

With a very small staff as there is, the boys must embrace the Farm, as theirs and take part in activity that both teaches them skills in Agriculture, and helps in getting more productivity from the under-utilized land, in under planting of cash crops. It is with this intention that the Tractor was requested, so they can more productively till the land and grow more produce, for their use and sale, in order to be more self-reliant, and masters of their own destiny.

Some matters arising on the success of ensuring that the Boys Home provides the basic needs of the kids it is trying to serve.

1                   Each person is an individual, and their wants and desires are different, what makes them tick, and how one can get more out of them is a very tricky exercise which even the best of families struggle with.

2                   Kids with psychological problems, do not get the counseling needed, as even the state provided system through the divisional secretariats is inadequate, and schools’ counseling almost non-existent.

3                   When I asked if the boys celebrate their birthdays, and if they get gifts, at least one to remember it, I was told that yes a cake is provided and all partake in a small celebration, but they don’t get gifts, as they are not taken in the spirit it is given. Either the expectation is of something better, or they sell what they get, when they go to school and buy something else they want with the money.

4                   Children who go to a school, together are identified by their peers as kids from the home, a kind of derogatory term, and it can affect their personalities in a negative way. There is no hiding from the school where they live. They have to be psychologically prepared not to let that be a stigma, despite society’s categorization.

5                   Empowering kids to take control of their lives, have a passion, and a goal in life is a very difficult task, as schools just concentrate on maintaining discipline, and require students to take tuition classes to overcome the poor teaching in the schools themselves.

6                   If the kids were orphans with NO parents, it is sometimes an easier task to instill values, as many of the kids when interacting with sometimes uneducated parents, who tend to hold on to them emotionally, allow them to influence them in old fashioned superstitions that have no bearing in reality.

7                   Often the feeling that you are in the home, only because your parents are unable to support you can have disturbing implications of abandonment, but at the same time, the emotional bond can be confusing and there is no professional counseling available to help in seeing the wood from the trees.

8                   Certain types of aggression and lack of graciousness by the kids to the service their Warden takes in ensuring their welfare, makes the task of the carers harder, when it is their rights, to food and education are being thrown at them, as a right and not a privilege. This is no different in homes, depending on how the kids are brought up by their parents. Who said parenting was easy!

9                   There is no follow up and mentoring programme once the kids finally leave school and are out in the world. At least children at home have a place to stay, these kids are beholden to the closest relative for that.

My Thoughts

It is increasingly difficult with the pressures and temptations faced to bring up kids in any environment, even in good homes with loving parents, who provide what is best for their kids, only to see them get into bad company and are led astray.

It is all the more difficult in running a home for boys, whose numbers fluctuate with the wind, as sometimes parents have the rights to remove their kids who have had a stable period in the home, only to be taken home, and that certainty of a meal becoming uncertain, due to the whims of those who have parental rights.

The overwhelming reverse backlash on the part of kids to the banning of Capital Punishment, and any form of physical harm, results in teachers who have to be very careful in dealing with difficult and troublesome kids, to the detriment of the well behaved ones. Student rights prevail over teaching rights!

Often kids are troublesome due to parenting deficiencies, who bring their problem to the school, leaving the teachers to handle it. Here the Warden has to deal with it, and how he handles it is observed by their peers. Kids are always on the look out to take advantage of a given situation, making it a tricky to manage at the best of times.

Instilling a sense of responsibility, something as simple as switching off the lights after leaving a room, is not as easy as it seems. You either have it or you don’t. Only when you have a sense of values, and consideration for others, do you actually perform you duties in a responsible manner.

Overall the universal sense of entitlement that today’s youth have no matter if they live in a Children’s Home, no matter how this has been hard wired into their brains, is a latter day problem. So if that entitlement is not being supplied, a disgruntled, passive-aggressive, and sometimes destructive child results.

So one needs a real sense of commitment and graciousness to perform the task of a Warden in an institution such as this to manage not only daily needs of a child, but also somehow identify the psychological needs, and a human being, with one’s own family responsibilities, can only do so much.

It is the emotional, institutional and financial support that a person such as this receives from others that makes it a task that is manageable. The responsibility of bringing up other people’s children, when parents are living is an added challenge that has to be experienced to be appreciated.