A very dear person, and a mother of a
close friend from a prominent family just passed away, and I did not go from
Minneriya to funeral as it was held the same day. I said I would come to the
Dana, but then was told they are NOT having one, and will provide a meal for
the needy.
It got me thinking, as I have written
extensively for 8 years in this blog, on ways to improve the quality of life of
those who live in Sri Lanka. I have seen the phenomenal waste of money Sri
Lankans like to make a habit of in areas that are NOT obligatory, but really
discretionary, but society has deemed obligatory.
Even this word discretion has been
bastardized, I know not why, to suit societal norms, that are indirectly quite
illogical, and non-sensical.
As I said earlier, in a Dana whether it
is a 7 day, 3 month or 1 year and the future ones in memory, are usually
carried out at home, following the Bana, more as an obligation preceding to
indulge in gross orgfest!
The poor host in villages is left with
more sugar, and powdered milk (the standard offering in these instances) all
imported, than they know what to do with. This will no doubt hasten their
deaths as diabetes and poor nutrition are the biggest NCD pests affecting us
Sri Lankans today.
So when the huge bill of the caterers,
even in villages who take the orders for the food, where people seem to feel
obliged to fill their plates and waste the food uneaten and therefore thrown
out, a unforgivable waste. This additionally pauperizes the grieving family, who
have undoubtedly lost a source of income, as the dead person was most likely to
be the breadwinner, who succumbed to a heart attack or cancer unable to cope with
the stress and strain of life. The implication being that an older person who dies
may get away with it, as there are few of her vintage to come, and so the crowd
is less anyway, and by implication the bread winners death results in a far greater
perceived obligation, and people deemed necessary to attend.
When one therefore evaluates the quality
of life(QOL), the pain of obligation being removed, definitely improves the QOL
of those who don’t have to carry this burden. This obligation is also on close relatives
and friends of the deceased and their families, to come to the event, sometimes
from afar adding to their burden to fulfill the obligation. Then the pressure on
the dead person’s family to invite those, who if NOT invited maybe slighted by not
receiving an invitation, is another burden. This is a triple whammy against these people on
the Quality of Life Stakes!
I just picked this example to show that some
of our obligations and duties in society, have resulted in a poorer QOL. SO a simple
rule of thumb to improve the QOL index of those who live in this resplendent Isle,
is to do what you like, and want, and NOT because is it is expected of you under
some unwritten obligation.
The person is dead dammit let him rest in
peace without his family being subjected to further trauma.\
What a difference a word change makes to
life, dump obligation, and replace by optional, DONE and DUSTED – Lets DO IT!!!!!
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