Liya Diriya Mothers – This is for
you – why have you failed to grow with us?
Below is a description of a purely voluntary program with NO ulterior motives aimed at enhancing the quality of life of women in Sri Lanka on program that nominally encompassed approximately 2,500 women in 40 societies in the Biyagama Divisional Secretariat Area
We
have spent over three years in attempting to establish women’s societies in
your community, solely for your benefit, to raise your potential as a mother,
wife, grandmother and maybe even a daughter. The mother is the key to the
family and its success in all areas. Experience has shown that strong mothers
with a vision and commitment can turn any difficult or challenging situation to
their advantage and succeed. It is with this ambition that we have set up
programs to assist you achieve your true potential.
We
have committed a lot of resources to improve your knowledge, give you training
in skills, prove to all of you the advantages of English and IT skills for you
and your daughters so you all can take advantage of the opportunities available.
For those who are interested, we have sports where you can take time out of
your home enjoy a little fun exercise and interact with others whom you may not
know but how have the same desires and hopes as you, and come from similar
backgrounds so you can make friends. Participation sports create camaraderie.
We
have provided a chance to showcase any hidden cultural talents that you may
have which since your schooldays you may not have had a chance to take part in.
Our Cultural Show proved that even though untrained the latent talent is of a
professional standard as the quality of the performance far exceeded
expectations.
There
are chances for you or your children to get some training in dancing, singing
and playing musical instruments, that will improve the overall knowledge and
talent you and your children have. This education makes for a well-rounded
person and leaders are created from persons, who are versatile, and not limited
to just one subject, profession or field of knowledge. Now with the political
landscape demanding 25% female participation, we have provided you with the
opportunity three years running to show your capabilities of leadership, the
ability to inspire others, and to understand the importance of citizenship and
responsibility for your friends and neighbors in order to achieve success in
your community.
We
have committed our time and effort in holding training sessions for you to
better understand the management of finance and to run your society funds for
the benefit of your members, to fundraise for a cause that is noble and
directly identifiable as being of assistance to the community. This is in order
to uplift the community to a level that commitment and responsibility are part
and parcel of that spirit. We created local lotteries to help raise funds for
Liya Diriya from the community showing the importance of the work in the
community to uplift the community itself, and even here your effort in selling
tickets locally to the numerous businesses in your area, where they benefit
from your custom, you have come up short, not making an effort in showing that
you are committed to this cause, not half as much as we have been dedicated in the
effort on your behalf.
We
have attempted to wean you from the Nanny state mentality where you expect the
state to provide everything for you without you giving something in return,
which will never improve your family circumstances automatically, but you have
NOT risen to the challenge. We even attempted at providing you leadership
development and empowerment programs, including how to improve your physical
appearance and feeling about yourself, but you have not improved your attitudes
about yourself and you let petty disputes affect the rest of the society.
We
have reminded you of the trap of getting into debt, just because money is
freely available and explained what guarantees are for taking loans, but you
have persisted in taking these loans that you are unable to repay and find yourself
in the classic debt trap, of borrowing to pay your capital and interest on
prior loans.
We
have even provided your both Mental Health Counseling facilities to improve your
attitudes and to advise you how to face seemingly insurmountable challenges, and
few who really need this support have taken advantage of this. We have also
offered and conducted Health Clinics in your areas sponsored by Liya Diriya in
conjunction with local medical practices, both public and private to support your
physical health issues. Even in the areas of Spiritual Guidance, we have
assisted in religious activities to enhance your spiritual beliefs in the hope
that your personal lives will improve, and your faith in life and prospects are
positive for the future.
We
have informed you all about the fact that we are willing to fund your societies
with money for the society to lend on behalf of members in a way that will
benefit members to improve their income, and stated basic conditions of
membership, to ensure that you avail yourselves of this opportunity. Even here,
you have NOT kept to the minimum rules of engagement in order to qualify for
the maximum payment and the rules are not onerous at all, simply keeping records
and holding monthly meetings with the proper documentation, as a matter of
discipline which is required if you are managing an organization on behalf of
your members.
We
recently even helped find a Market for products that you can make using your
creative skills in design, to produce cards and bags and similar items, but the
uptake and interest was found wanting with only a handful of members taking
advantage and participating in that program, despite the substantial commitments
of experts to help you, funds, and raw materials we put into it.
What
more can we do? We have exhausted our mental and physical capacity in trying to
help you help yourselves and STILL you are waiting with outstretched arms to
receive some useless item FREE, from which you will never improve your life or
future! In short your personal commitment had been very poor, and we have made
this commitment with nothing in return, so is it fair that we continue to help
those who do not appreciate the value of this help? Perhaps we should go to
help others who may make better use of this opportunity than you have!
The
above is just touching the surface, as we have had various pola’s to market your
produce, and avurudu festivities with your participation and your children’s
involvement.
We
have held numerous children’s art competitions three years running, to bring
out the talent of your children, and remind them of the importance of
Environment and its importance in sustainable life. Your participation was poor
and it is your children who lose the opportunity afforded to them through Liya
Diriya. Is it not correct to accuse you then that you don’t even think of your
children and the benefit they may get from such activity?
To the young ladies who have been helped by career counseling programs by us to help them choose what is good for them, and how they can achieve their personal goals, we have had some limited success in enlightening them on on the possibilities that a society such as Sri Lanka offers them to become independent and win out. Even here the Public Sector mentality that is etched in their personality, reinforced by their mothers is a hard battle to fight, for them to see the pros and cons of their perceived wish list.
To
be frank we sponsored at considerable expense one of Sri Lanka’s foremost
professionals in the personality development field hiring a hall for your
participation and sending over 1,000 circulars to all 40 societies to attend
and to bring their daughters who will benefit from this once in a lifetime
chance for your community, a full half day session, and your complete lack of
interest was an indication of being blind when a gift horse is placed in front
of you.
There
is no point quoting case after case of our well intentioned services being
provided, and our utter astonishment of seeing crowds, when a book or two is
given free to people, indicating an enslaved state of mind, incapable of making
a simple judgment of values of society that benefit themselves and their
families.
We
seem NOT to be sufficiently educated to understand what is important, and what can
give us the greatest satisfaction and improvement in the quality of our lives.
Our education system has treated our minds and cleaned them clear of any
ability to rationalize, prioritize and intellectualize a situation, to
determine what is best for us.
This
enables other people to use us as pawns in their games of personal enhancement,
the classic example being the political landscape in Sri Lanka where even our
women have allowed themselves to be used by Politicians of all ilks to continue
to profit from their foolish thinking and continue a circle of profiteering at
the public’s expense, as the public continue not to be able to rise up first to
understand that which is good for them and second, how to choose how to get
that which will improve their lives for the better.
Actually
even a dog knows what it wants to improve their lives for the better, our own
women in Sri Lanka, those who nurture generation after generation don’t, and so
we are stuck in a perpetual cycle of missed opportunities, moving backwards
while the world moves forwards, and those who understand this and have learned
from this, have taken advantage of this opportunity have fled this Country and
those who remain are either blind to this reality, or are like us hitting a
brick wall attempting to change this society, where no one will make an effort
to change.
13 comments:
There is an effort reward equation here. Of course there are those who have definitely benefited and won because of our program. However the issue is " is our effort worth the reward?" That is why I wrote it in that vein questioning why we have not been able to make as much progress as we had hoped by now, bearing in mind what time and effort and funds and training we have put into it.
If only mothers understand that behind every successful person, man or woman (success is not measured by wealth or power, just personal fulfillment and influence on others) lies the truly nurturing mother, we must teach all women who wish to be mothers how to impart that and it does not matter if the mother is poor or is on her own with no support from her husband, it is all about her attitude from day one.
Its all about attitude, the only way to fill the one million vacancies in Sri Lanka and grow this economy is through an attitude change.
Female labor force participation is insufficient if SL is to meet its growth targets before it reaches the population ageing stage. There is only another 7 year window left, and if it is not immediately addressed and corrective action taken there will be permanent damage that cannot be rectified.
You cannot change attitude of grown women, so better start at pre school if there is ever a chance at least of a decent future
It is a well known fact that there are many unfilled vacancies for all skills in Biyagama companies, both within the FTZ and outside. It is simply stupyfying that Biyagama women dont like to take these jobs, wanting only to rent rooms to outsiders to come and work in Biyagama.
It is important therefore that they realize its their stupidity and prejudices that keep them in this state of inertia, and this attitude will pass on to their children which is the danger.
Force sterilize these women as they are a danger to society itself and tell them they are traitors. After all the FTZ was created to help them and they have never wanted help only handouts.
In a male centered society, they don't share in the upbringing of kids, so their role model is an absent Dad and a bossy Mom, caught between a rock and a hard place. No wonder the younger generation of Sri Lankans are impossible to control, and that is both the mother and fathers complaint though they have contributed to the state of the state, from which the fortunate few escape like you said.
A cousin said this was a typical man's way of explaining the state of the state in a comment she put on my FB. I would appreciate a women's opinion, and welcome to blame it on men and explain why and how we could possibly change, and where or how does one break this cycle?
I am not afraid of putting controversial opinions out, as it is the debate that is necessary to address real issues, and the reason for some of our repetitive failures in making progress.
Don't forget this blog has for 10 years tried to address issues with the aim being to improve the quality of life of those who live in Sri Lanka with no hidden agenda. So all ideas exchanged from people from all walks of life and experience are appreciated to get a debate going, and try and achieve some positive results before the end of the world as we know it.
I can't believe it, not knowing what I have been writing here, my cook woman just this moment asked me " the only thing I want from you now after 17 years of being my housekeeper is to provide my son with a Government Job." what can I say?
He is a chauffeur to a senior manager of a construction company at present. This is real man this is the state of the state! I think he earns well, but it is security she is looking for, so he cannot be fired for any reason legit or not, and get a pension afterwards. This is the real mentality of the nation, made worse by the raise of Rs10,000 as an election carrot by the yahapalana government.
You have missed the real culprit for this Government Job craze getting worse. Mahinda Rajapakse added one million jobs in the public service, that this Country cannot support. They are all sitting around making life impossible for the public, as they have no work and are always looking at ways to profit from their position.
If only these people were available to take the million vacancies, we would have a GNP per capita of US$10,000 already. So we must educate the public on this reality, and the fact that this Country is in a mess because of this so called Maharajanani who is nothing but a traitor, and should be shot as such by a firing squad for all to see. Why are the people so blind to this reality?
Its not just women, it is men also, it must be the poor nutrition, they are simply unable to concentrate and act on what is being said to improve themselves. Ask any priest in a temple. They are always hearing the same Bana, but it goes in one ear and straight out of the other. It is a national disease that has to be treated properly before these poor souls can be helped to understand the depths to which their spsyche has fallen into. They are not salvageable except for a small better nourished minority, who may learn and better themselves.
Ratmale, there is a simple solution here. you need to do survey research to scientifically identify the motivating factors here and then structure programs to appeal to those factors rather than just telling them what's good for them. your anecdotal evidence is one thing, but to truly crack this nut you have to approach this from the perspective of the woman and to do this you need good survey data.
As if not end on the state of mind of these mothers. They made a request for us to provide a creche/day care facility for their pre-school kids, which was a reasonable request, and as a commitment from them we wanted a contribution of Rs500 a month (US$3) After all the FTZ here has numerous vacancies in all areas, unskilled, semi skilled, skilled, and professional, and we believed this will enable them to join the workforce and earn a decent living.
No they were not asking for day care so they wanted to go to work. They wanted us to take care of their kids so they could have some time off from them! They had NO intention of working. That simply left me stunned!
Thankfully we were not so foolish as to give into this demand, we would be taken for an almighty ride.
I am accused of mansplaining! Dhur!!!
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